


Breathe Easy

by Tolstoyevsky



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Spoilers for Episode 11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 16:23:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8851813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tolstoyevsky/pseuds/Tolstoyevsky
Summary: Yuuri breaks down the night before his Free Skate at the Grand Prix Final, and Viktor is there to comfort him. What Yuuri doesn't realize is that Viktor also understands him.(That episode 11, guys! What was that? Here's my take on what Yuuri meant in that last scene, and how Viktor might have responded.)





	

He had finally gotten Viktor alone. After the chaos at the ice rink earlier that day, there were at last no reporters, no fans, and no other skaters present. It was just the two of them in their hotel room, Yuuri sitting on the edge of the bed, and Viktor at the window seat, framed by the Barcelona nightscape.

“What are our friends up to?” Viktor asked. 

It was the wrong question. Still, Yuuri scrolled through his Instagram feed. “Apparently, Minako-sensei’s drinking with Celestino at a bar.”

“Wow, best to keep our distance,” Viktor said as he toweled off his hair. His gaze slowly drifted up to his fiancé’s, who couldn’t help but smile. Viktor’s face was always so soft and fresh after he’d just taken a shower, and he looked so cozy in his robe. Yuuri suddenly remembered the time when he saw Viktor sleeping on the floor at the family onsen, wearing one of the inn’s bathrobes. He had never imagined that one day, he would wake up in the morning to the sight of that same face as more than a poster on his wall. And yet Viktor had become his coach, his friend, and his truest source of love.

It was time to give that love back.

“By the way, Yuuri… What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Right,” he said, nodding. That was the question he’d needed Viktor to ask. Yuuri had been working up his courage for a while, but he still needed that small, encouraging push. “After the final, let’s end this.”

Viktor went still. “End… What?” He asked slowly.

“This coaching thing between you and me. I saw the way you were watching the other skaters, during the short program. You don’t want to be a coach, Viktor. You want to skate, just like them.”

“Yuuri–“

He held out a hand. “Let me finish,” Yuuri said quietly. “Or else I’ll never be able to say this.”

After a moment, Viktor nodded. “Okay.”

“Having you as my coach has been more than I could ask for. Being your… Husband… Is…”

“Yuuri, you know I’m going to marry you no matter what, right? I love you. I was only teasing the others, when I said we’d get married after you won a gold medal. Even JJ and his fiancée are still–“

“Yes.” Yuuri sighed, reaching over and taking Viktor’s hands. “Yes. Okay. Thank you,” he whispered. “For making that clear. But that’s not what I wanted to say. I – I can’t win that medal.”

A look of amused skepticism passed across Viktor’s face. “ _Lyubov moya_ , you’ve said that so many times.”

“Because it’s true! I ruined my free skate at Rostelecom, and I messed up today. After tomorrow, I’m not going to skate anymore. I’ll retire, and you can get back on the ice.”

Viktor frowned, but he didn’t say anything. Yuuri realized that the other man was waiting for him to continue.

“Being my coach isn’t right for you. Don’t you see? Yurio broke your world record earlier today–“

“I was very proud of him,” Viktor said gently.

“No, Vitya, I mean, don’t you want to get that record back? Don’t you want to be that champion again?”

“Honestly, I think Yurio is going to have a tough time tomorrow during the free skate. He doesn’t have the stamina.”

Yuri slammed his fists against the mattress and stood up. “This isn’t about Yurio! It’s about _you_! And me! I’m holding you back!”

Viktor dropped his towel on the floor. He stood up in turn, and Yuuri was tempted to take a step back, on the defensive. The look in Viktor’s eyes was all too knowing, too… Pitying.

“No, you’re not.”

“You just can’t tell that I am because you’re in love with me!” He yelled. “You’ve got the wrong idea about what I can give you, when it comes to skating. You’ll never be satisfied with being my coach! I can’t complete your jumps; I can’t earn a flawless technical score. I – I can’t give you a gold medal, because _I’m not good enough_!”

Yuuri sat back down, feeling spent. His head and stomach were spinning, his vision shifting out of focus. He didn’t bother to gauge Viktor’s reaction, because he already knew what it would be: sympathetic, in a way that Yuuri didn’t deserve. Optimistic for nothing.

But when he finally managed to look up, that wasn’t what he saw.

Viktor was angry.

“Who said you weren’t good enough? Was it Yurio? Record or no record, I’ll send him back to the junior division–“

“Stop,” Yuuri managed, gritting his teeth. “Nobody said that. It’s just the truth.”

“According to who? You’re one of the top figure skaters in the world. You’re at the Grand Prix Final, and you still have a chance to win.”

“I never had a chance,” Yuuri mumbled. “Not when I let myself get so overwhelmed that–“

“Did you see JJ today? He messed up his entire program, and even he isn’t giving up.”

“But I’m not JJ! I’m Katsuki Yuuri. Choking is what I _do_. I can’t help it,” he protested. Damn it. Yuuri’s eyes were filling with tears; his voice was on the edge of quivering. This wasn’t how this conversation should have gone. “You’re wasting time being my coach, time you could spend doing what y-you love.”

Hands on his shoulders. Yuuri felt himself lurch a step forward as Viktor wrapped his arms around him in a hug.

“This is what I love,” he whispered.

Yuuri bit down on his lip, hands coming to rest against the small of Viktor’s back.

“You’re the one that doesn’t understand. I would have retired this season, if it weren’t for you. You’re what kept me going.”

“V-Viktor–“

“It made me happy to watch the other skaters today, but seeing you perform is what inspires me. I don’t regret being your coach, and not just because it brought me closer to you. Something beautiful happens when you skate. Everything around me stands still.”

He froze.

“You’re not the only one who feels like the world can’t stop spinning,” Viktor whispered. “But when I see you, it does. It stops. And everything is clear again.”

Yuuri sobbed into his shoulder.

“Do you understand, now? No matter whether you win a gold medal tomorrow, I’m proud to be your coach. To be the one that gets to see you skate. It’s like hearing music when you thought the record was broken.”

“I-I’m sorry–“

“Don’t be sorry,” Viktor said. “Tell me whether you understand.”

He lifted his head, and Viktor met his gaze. All at once, Yuuri found that he was no longer holding his breath.

“I understand.”

“That’s all we need,” Viktor said softly, leaning in to kiss him.

Tomorrow, Katsuki Yuuri would skate for his coach. But he would win that gold medal for himself.

**Author's Note:**

>  ~~Ok but poor JJ that totally sucked~~  
>  I hope you guys liked the fic <3 I wrote it in a frenzy after watching the latest episode, because that was a whole lot of skating angst and not enough sweet Viktuuri moments.  
> Tumblr: [tolstoyevskywrites](http://tolstoyevskywrites.tumblr.com)  
> Spotify playlists: [Otayuri](https://open.spotify.com/user/tolstoyevsky/playlist/5i3uGBrwu9gfB9ynaOjiay) || Viktuuri: [1](https://open.spotify.com/user/tolstoyevsky/playlist/7dtTAAISDjCfEjYoOV8IiU), [2](https://open.spotify.com/user/tolstoyevsky/playlist/36xh2sv4YN7hdNWaAgDksu?si=eS1Qh7EMQCCxmXquXaP9MA)  
> 8tracks playlists (different from the Spotify ones): [here](http://8tracks.com/airini/collections/yuri-on-ice-playlists)  
> My other YOI fics: [Autotēles](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15351237/chapters/35620935) || [Someone Tell the Referee to Stop Calling Out My Love](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15111506/chapters/35040203) || [Stargazing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13801836/chapters/31732521) || [The Adventures of Russian Tiger Yuri Plisetsky and His Lovestruck Not-Coach](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8790199/chapters/20151052) || [ Laurel ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8871910/chapters/20340913) || [Otayuri Oneshots](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9341738/chapters/21166439)


End file.
